Damn those baby daddies.

Unfortunately, I'm still just not quite ready to give mine the good ol' "Eff U" yet.  lol.

Although, if it wasn't for me venting all of my frustrations on this diary, I probably would have.

...not sure if that's good or bad. lol.

Hi NSL - Hey,the baby is SO cute - what BIG eyes!  He looks very well cared for and loved - we are going to start our baby on rice cereal today - she spits up constantly and it's starting to  be a drag for both her and us.  You breastfeed, right?  If not - what kind of formula do you use?  We've tried so many, and now we've gone back to the original Enfamil to see if that will be better, now that Gracie is going on 4 months - your baby is the same age, right?  Hey, that would be so exciting if you could buy a house!  Good Luck!  If your boss won't do it, you should check out the Housing and Redevelopment program through the city where you live and see if they have a program through which you can buy a house, like I did - it was easy and very economical, too - you can only get one according to how much you make - you have to find it yourself, though, like I did - they pay part of the house purchase for you and if you live in your house for 10 years, they will forgive that loan at that time.  It's really a good deal - I don't know where you live, tho - where I live you can do that, but you couldn't if you lived, for example, in the bay area (where I used to  live), because houses are outrageously expensive there now.  Anyway, thanks for letting us see a pic of baby - he sure is a cutie!

Jan

P.S.  Bummer about dad's job . . .

Thanks so much hun! Really appreciate your support and advice! :)

Hope you are well.

I will talk to you soon. xxx

What a freak, right?  What the hell is he trying to do?  Sheesh...

Well, you are not alone, here, my dear - my 18 year old daughter AND her b/f both live with me and her dad - try that one on for size.  The baby has 4 parents and we all have different ideas about what is right for the baby and what is wrong.  Your mom can't help being the way she is - we older moms just think we know it all cuz we've already been where you are now at and sometimes we overdo it with the advice - really - it's just motherhood - even tho you are your baby's mom - she is your mom and feels responsible for the baby, too.  Actually, the baby probably would cry if he saw her at daycare and want to go with her - I know this, because our little grandbaby does that when she sees her grandpa because she wants him to pick her up - she starts whining and fussing, because he is with her most of the time - we do a LOT of babysitting (but we are more than glad to do so) - my daughter is still in need of running around and being a teenager, I guess.  So just try to forgive your mom and realize that she can't help being a mom (even tho it drives you crazy) - my own mom was the same way with my kids - it's just a mom thing.  Someday you will be on your own and might even wish that she were still there.  Anyway, here is a cool tip for you, I bet you didn't know.  If you get soap in your baby's eyes and he is screaming bloody murder, all you have to do is lick his eyes and the soap and pain will be gone - isn't that crazy?  I read about that a long time ago and I tried it and it worked!  I bet your mom doesn't know that little trick - so now you know something she probably doesn't.  Anyway, buck up - life will go on and things will get better!  And as far as your b/f goes - of course you have feelings for him and wish things were better between both of you - after all, you both share the parenthood of a little baby and it's nice to have someone to talk to and do things with and share the responsibility of parenthood together and all of that . . .that still might happen - life is funny - you never know what's around the next bend . . . .

Jan :)

I'm so sorry - there is nothing worse than having a sick baby, and then a crappy nurse on top of it.  How do you get a viral infection?  Are any of the kids at his daycare sick?  That is usually how it begins - SIGH! - I wish you could just stay home and take care of him - my daughter doesn't know how lucky she has it with her dad home all day taking care of her baby.  Anyway - baby is on the mend and that is the main thing - now your learning what being a mom is all about - worrying about sicknesses and staying up late with a screaming infant, etc., etc.  that's what I tell my daughter when she doesn't want to stay home and take care of the baby or get up out of bed in the morning and all that stuff.  You sound like a pretty darn good mom, tho - and so is she . . . .hang in there mommy!  :)

Jan

glad baby is okay

and i hate nurses like that

thank you for the lovely comment and the support.

i'll go back and read your diary when i have more time.

i'm adding you.

<3 Juli

Thanks girl, and just so you know, he's off lockdown this morning. 

Yay for the baby sleeping through the night, it always makes things a lot easier once they're able to start.

congratulations!! thats great!! no more sleepless nights eh??

xx 

Hey - our baby had diarrhea, too, and her eyes were red and didn't look good,so she was on eye drops and Pedialyte for a few days - we were all miserable - sick babies are no fun,  huh?  Sounds like the B/D is going in the right direction with therapy - that's good news - he doesn't sound like much of a basketball player - Hang in there!

Jan  :) 

sweety enjoy the sex!... unfortunatly i have to be honest and say "while it lasts"... i think im on stage 2 or 3 or 4 of that kinda relationship and truth is its not as great anymore, so protect urself hon till things are clearer. i wish u the best of luks!!

and hey its the 7th let us know how things turn out!

hugs, precious

Get his ass on some good meds, that's what I say!  You never know, maybe that will help a lot.

As far as what you asked about Eddie, things are good between us...very, very good. 

Wow...

You still have sex with him???

I'm sorry to hear that he's giving you such a hard time. I'm sure it's more to annoy you than anything else. I hope he stops for the baby's sake.

Well, as far as the shot day goes, that I can understand - the tension, the fighting, etc., etc. - having a baby getting it's shots and the pain and fear it is in is HELL for the parents - I mean - we are just the grandparents and we had been fighting and bickering all nite because we were upset about our little grandbaby - you know - the fever, the dull eyes, the sleeping too much, the guilt feelings of the parents (and grandparents) for doing the right thing of getting the shots in the first place - SIGH!  The rest of your b/d's behavior - forget it!  He needs to grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!!  but then you knew that of course . . . .

Okay - Here we go again - Gracie had her first round of shots today, too!  And yes, we have the Tylenol ready - I never heard of giving it before the shots, have you?  But - whatever works, I guess . . . .

Jan

Wow...You seriously need to get a restraining order. 
For you and mostly for your baby...
Be Careful!

Lol that's one way to do it!

He's beautiful by the way...

How are things going with Daddy?

Nope, can't see em...

If you can't see them, then we probably can't see them..
Grrr...

I couldn't figure it out forever but if you have a photobucket acount you can just go there, click on the picture that you want, and when it singles the picture out and brings it up, just copy it and paste it onto your entry.  That's how I do mine.  The little button on this toolbar that says insert image is junk-doesn't work...ugh...lol

If you need anymore help my aim is megantreat09 or yahoo-megnjk

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Sorry to hear that you are still having issues with BD even after your son has been born. Hopefully taking him to court will help get a little senility back into your life.

Enjoy your time with your new little son! They don't stay little for too long and I sooooo miss my son as a baby/toddler. I sometimes I wish I could go back, just to have a bit more time with him like that. He was so much fun!

Congratulations!

  Did you go into labor on your own?? Sorry to hear you're having drama with the babys father... hope it calms down quickly for your sake.

congrats on the baby!  welcome to motherhood.  it's an amazing journey.

it's too bad your ex is a moron.  i think it's best you didn't tell him when you had the baby.  he's obviously proven (already) he can't be trusted. 

Congratulations!  I knew that's why you weren't updating. 

I'm sorry you're still having drama with the dad, damn girl, is he ever gonna stop acting like an ass?  Anyway, you have more important things to worry about now!  Are we gonna get some pics?

Congratulations on your new baby boy!  You actually had your baby 3 days before my daughter had hers!  And here I was wondering about your labor & delivery and all that fun stuff.  I am so happy 4 you.  Well, I guess it turns out that your b/d is more of an immature fool than I originally thought.  I am so sorry you have to go thru this needless b.s. during this all important and magical time you need to spend with your son - I'm glad your getting a restraining order - he deserves it..Maybe later you can tell us how your labor and delivery went - I know your very busy these days, as we are here, too.  Congrats again and don't worry - everything will turn out just as it is supposed to,  you'll see . . . .

Jan

hey ma'am!!!! all i have to say is good for you!!!!!!!! your right when a baby is involved both parents need to grow up! especially the dads! most moms grow up instatnly but guys dont always have that paternal instinct. mine did an i thank God everyday! lol! well i know ive let you down cuz i havnt been on latly bur i had my baby march 14th at 6:25am she was 6pounds 9ounces 19inches long her name is khalie chyann franklin but we call her turtle. lol shes now 2months old an a blast to have around. however i had to have a c-section which sucked but if you havent had your baby yet i wont go into my birthing story. but if i have i so want details mamma!!! lol stay stron an ill always be here for you if you wanna talk.

*khalies mommy*

Shaina Jones

an my yahoo is shaina.jones@yahoo.com

Hi NSL - Where are you?  Has your little one arrived yet?  Just wanted to let you know my daughter had her baby on the 16th ( a planned c-section) and all went wonderfully well - the baby is beautiful and we wuv her.  I know the same will happen for you if it hasn't as of yet.  You can read all about it in my latest entry, and I sure hope to read an exciting and wonderful entry from you, too  . . . .

Jan 

Go You!

Lol seriously-You seem like you really have your sh*t together and, despite the fact that I don't know you, I'm proud of you :D

Just keep on doing what you have to do for you and the baby right now.  You have enough to deal with without worrying about his crap too!

SIGH!  Like I've said before - sounds just like my daughter and her B/D - things will work out however they are supposed to - you just worry about yourself and your little one - it's gonna be okay - you'll see . . . . .

JAN

Despite what that "mysterious" person said, I think you're doing the right thing.  Having read all of your entries, you would be doing THE RIGHT THING by keeping him away from your child.  It doesn't really matter wether he is the father or not.  If he can't act like one, he shouldn't have the privelages...

I'm backing you up on this one :D

Well, this time I finally have something to write about - my daughter is having a "scheduled" C-section because her pelvis is too small to deliver the other way on May 16th.  Weght she was having contractions the other nite, so we fly to the Labor & Delivery, we're stuck there for hours and find out that she has a bladder infection - unreal - 3:00 in the morning we go stumbling out of the hospital, exhausted.  She has decided to give her baby the daddy's last name, cuz he is interested, and the truth of the matter is, he IS her dad - at first she said the same thing as you, though - we have already sent in the birth certificate info. to the hospital.  Just make sure you don't do anything now out of spite that may cheat your child out of any future benefits that the dad may have (my olderst daughter warned me of that) and I think she may be right.  I will be you anything that this boy will grow up once his baby is born - having a little child in your life changes everything - if he is a man at all, he will fall madly in love with his baby (and maybe even mommmy again), and everything will change for the better.  I seriously do not recommend that you jump on a trampoline to get your labor started.  Like my daughter,  you are getting impatient, but  you don't want to have the baby too soon - he is still growing inside of you and needs whatever time nature has allotted him to finish the work.  Just try to focus on something else (yeah, right - that IS what I tell my daughter, too) and before you know it your baby will be here, you'll see - then you'll wish he was back inside - LOL - just kidding . . . . Hang in there NSL - it's gonna be okay!

Jan  :)

Okay, I know it has to do with the B/D, so listen up . . . .you are at a point in your life where you must focus mainly on yourself and your baby - your job now is to protect yourself emotionally and physically from the problems this world may throw at you - after all, if you don't protect you and your baby, who will?  You must be like a mother lioness, protective, fierce and strong - if he is being a total jackass, and he probably is, try to blow him off at least until after the baby arrives - that will be another part of this continuing saga to deal with - Take Care of Yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jan

Good for you!  You don't have to take his BS and you're a wonderful mother for putting a stop to it before your son is born-I'm happy for you and it's sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders!  Good luck!

 Does the doctor know about the swelling? It could be... crap what is that called...???

Toxemia? Ask the Dr. to make sure. I didn't have it, but I knew quite a few girls who have. It comes late in the pregnancy and can cause some real complications, if it goes untreated. Swelling is the biggest sign that I remember.

Well, your not alone in your misery with this b/d thing. My daughter has two bfs - one is the father - no money, no nothing, and very controlling - the other is what seems like a very sweet boy - interested in the baby, buys her things, etc., but is like many states away - SIGH!  We are gearing up for war, over here - like, who's going to provide medical insurance for the baby - him NOT taking her to his place when he wants to, and all kinds of crap like that.  Anyway, on to other things - your fluid build up doesn't sound good - I'm glad  your going to the doctor soon - he'll probably tell you to quit eating salt (if you do) and to stay off that leg and elevate your feet - my daughter gets fluid build up in her feet more than anything.  Her doctor has just recently told her that she must have a planned caeserean, because her pelvis is too small for the baby - so that's kinda scary - hope I can handle it - she sees her doctor in two weeks, and he said she must have the baby before labor starts, or it will really be a mess - so, Gracie will be coming before the end of May, as we had all thought - more likely around the 10th or something.  My daughter doesn't want to share her own birthday with her baby, as hers is on May 8th, so it will be either just before that, or just after, I imagine.  We have the nursery all set up, too - it's exciting, but like I said, being the mom, myself, I am scared!!!!   Of course, my daughter doesn't know that - I don't think - anyway, with a little luck and a lot of prayer both of you girls will come smoothly through your babies getting here - I'll be praying for both of you - Wow - I read that comment about someone in another country getting either 6 or 4 months off from work - can you believe that?  Why is it, that with Americans, all we can think about is work, work, work, while the other countries give all this time off for mothers, take hour long siestas at lunchtime at work, etc., etc.  I mean, we live in a great country and I love it and all of that, but sheesh!!  Give us a break over here!  Anyway, I too am rambling - let us know how your doctor visit goes - Hang in there - your almost there!

Jan  :)

P.S.  We just had our first baby (March 31st) - should have been April 14th, and little Ginger is cute as the dickens - my son's first baby - all are doing well . . . . .

Damn, the B/D is definitely an ass, how are you supposed to forget that, it was like two weeks ago. 

I'm glad you're getting getting the baby stuff all ready though, exciting huh? 

You know, no matter what anybody on MDD or anywhere else for that matter, says about your situation and this guy, you are still going to love him (or think you do) and be miserable - it is uncanny how closely your situation resembles my daughter's - she just recently had her cell phone number changed, so her b/d couldn't call her anymore, cuz he upset her so much, and what did he do?  He emailed her - of course she responded, just like you would and I'm sure it'll be the pitts as always - what it really is, more than anything, with you two girls, is that you are scared, lonely, and THINK you are in love, cuz you want something you can't have right now and just THINK you really want - the day will come when you will look at the whole big picture and wonder what you ever saw in Mr. So and So, and you'll be so ready to move on and so busy with your baby and on and on and on - and then - and only then - Mr. Right will show up.  Your baby is almost here, so hang in there - ignore this guy as much as you can - he is just like my daughter's bf - young, immature, probably scared and anything but ready for the responsibility of fatherhood - you can do this - you are the girl - you are the mature and responsible one and you must be the main protector for your little one - it is unfortunate, but the mother is always the one who must do the protecting and you can do it - now, listen to me - go in to your kitchen now and find something chocolate and eat it all gone, and if  you have nothing in there chocolate, then eat something else or go out and get something chocolate - it won't hurt you and probably make you feel MUCH better - try some Nutella (it is chocolate and hazelnuts in a jar) and absolutely to DIE for - a few spoonfuls and you and your baby will be delirious with joy - anyway, eat something for both of you - only you can do this for your baby and take care of him, okay?  Talk 2 U Later -

Hugs,

Jan

I am so sorry for what had happened but I think some guys are really the pain in the ass. By the way ... why did you chose to be with a man like him at all? I don't understand this why? Can you tell?

So sorry. This all sucks very much. And it's extra hard to handle all that, in your condition.

He's a loser, honey. He really is. Move forward, as best you can.

My advise to you is to get a court order for custody and support... even if the two of you are getting along. This way you are covered no matter what happens. One thing is for certain, he can't pick and choose when to support the baby. It's just plain asinine for him to be thinking that way... and no court would ever allow it to happen. Good luck!

I felt that way at the end of my pregnancy. I just wanted to OWN MY OWN BODY AGAIN!!

Don't feel bad.

I used to get angry, when I saw a woman with a new baby. I HATED THEM! They already had their babies and were DONE with being pregnant! They KNEW what their baby was going to look like, that part drove me crazy the last couple of months. I wanted to know what MY baby was going to look like.

[waytoomuchtime]

lol everyone feels that way around the 8/9th month but the time will come soon.

fly

You are doing the right thing.  Just stick to your guns and don't budge-Really.  Don't answer his calls or his texts.  If you can't trust him to take care of you, how can you trust him to take care of you AND your child?